why is what SO that is why

no point showing off how rich you are.

2009-04-29T21:36:00.000-07:00

My mentor at work always tell me, don’t work for the company, work for yourself. Don’t build the brand for the company, build the brand for yourself.

This sentence has always been inside my head since then.

Ever since I started working, I started asking myself, what am I working for? What am I really doing now? What do I want out of it?

Money that’s of cos.

But for me the word money doesn’t stop there. For me, I’m working for money. And satisfaction! And at the same time also working on how the money could be put to use to generate more money.

Yes I want money. But I’m more interested to generate more money from the money I earn. I am not a ‘money-faced’ person neither am I a person who wants fame a lot. But I just cannot stand people out there who just work for money. And money that’s it! Money to pay for their house, their car, money for their expenses and other misc. This is just so typical of a typical human being life.

I often ask people, are you satisfied just by earning 3K per month? And they often answer no, however with a no; they are not doing anything to better achieve things and to be better satisfied. That is what I mean by working for money, and money, that’s it.

This is so boring.

Then it reaches the next debate. How to achieve that?

I know of people who depend of people to achieve things, and I felt so disgusted. Why must we depend on people? Esp guys? Don’t understand. And I don’t wish to understand too.

They depend of people to achieve things then they have the fame, they lead a luxury life. But what would happen if the person they are depending on is no longer there for them? And do they know that people are actually laughing and talking behind their back? I doubt they didn’t know all about this, because they are already surrounded by the luxury and expensive air, breathing in all the expensive oxygen and eating all the expensive wind. I look down on this kind type of people A LOT! And I have to caps it because I really look down on them even if they are riding in Ashton Martin. To me its, ‘So what?’

And the last debate, Showing off after you achieves it?

I told myself to contribute to the old and children charity when I achieve something in my career. But that’s not what I meant; everyone could contribute and donate to the charity when they have the money. But are they really doing it with their heart? Or are they doing for the seek of doing it?

I once did a research online, out of the 100 people who donate, only 20% of them do it whole heartedly, because they want to help and give back to the society. The rest of the 80% are either for fame or for the seek of doing it. One word: LAME. I don’t believe in doing things for the seek of it. Maybe this is just me. But I really hate people who show off to me.

Like I told my girlfriend yesterday, if you are rich, you can be pretty. Because you have the money to buy expensive clothes, bags, make ups and shoes. But can you carry it out? That’s another thing.

People are funny.

I cannot say more. Because every person is funny, I think that you are funny and you think that I am funny.

So the thing is, live if the best you can and be low-key.

To me: people who flaunt their asserts and money, showing off how rich they are and how much they have achieved and all, are usually the people without EQ (not even low EQ, its without EQ) and doesn’t really have a lot of money with them.

2008-12-29T07:00:00.000-08:00

I was brought up with my mom teaching me not to depend too much on guys. I dont understand what she meant by that when i'm young, i thought love was so wonderful, having a guy to shower love on you was the best thing on earth and having a guy to help you do and plan your things makes you feel like a princess.

But girls usually fail to see the other side of guys, those who talked aloud when discussing and chicken out when its about time to work on it. Funny.

I came across an incident personally. We are suppose to do a tell on, but, things i mention happen. Everyone contribute their unhappinness when discussing but nobody would want to stand up for the person. Nobody would love to take the front, lead the way. Everyone gave the 'dont drag me in' attitude when we wanna set a date. Like WTF? Really. Guys.

But inside, I am not angry with a friend. Because throughout the meet up, he didnt mention a thing. And a guy would love to stand up to speak, although he is worried but he is not afraid.

I dont understand. Not that i look down on guys. But sometimes, this could be irritating.

Lastly, I hope girls could learn from my Mom. Depend on guys for some things, but not everything. AND make sure the guys depend on you on some things too. BUT never depend your feelings on him.

=)

many actors wanting an acting career.

2008-12-24T19:56:00.000-08:00

so i taught a friend [knth] what does taiji-master means at work.

its weird sometimes you see people putting on an act infront of u telling you how busy they are, how many things they need to follow up. and the next moment, you see them standing up and 'talking softly' to another colleague.

through the corner of my eyes, i look and estimate the time the person had wasted. and i came up with a conclusion, the number of times the person stand up to 'talk softly' multiply by the seconds and mins the person took each time she stood up could be well used to follow up on two things on her to-do-list. funny. i always wonder what is it that they could talk about?

so another of my colleague and i came up with this term. 3-8-8-8

3 is for a lady who is not so 38 but is still 38.
8 is for the lady who is extermely 38.
8 is for the GUY/BOY whom we call him boy8 too. he is extermely 38.
and the last 8 is the floor my office is at. Level 8.

i think these people are horrible terrible and a lil stupid. they are the type of people my mom keeps saying, 'their life is a stand-still.' complainting, gossiping, ranting, stabbing. but missed out on doing the best out of everything. it's quite true, because everytime the boss hand something to them, they would complaint about the budget, gossip about how is it impossible, rant about how low the budget is and then stab each other with, 'he say/she say' yicks. why cant they use the time to think about how they could maximise the budget they have on hand? or even go to the boss and asked honestly how they would want things to be with the budget, ask them for suggestions, and give the boss suggestions and work on it?

the words, 'very tight' and 'no budget' had became so irritating that i just walked off when they reached the topic. that is why, i always prefer working with uncles then aunties. because uncles except boy8 would say, 'aiya no budget, how to do, got to think of it together,' while aunties would say, 'aiya company no budget lor, how to do, like that how?' can you see the difference?

i dont know how to put it through, but uncles are still better people to work with rather then aunties. aunties wont help you when they are busy. but uncles would give you suggestions as to how to lighten your troubles or load even when they are busy.

well, i felt that they company will be better without 3-8-8-8.

to my girls: i shall tell you about Boy8 soon. =)

everything is for my mom

2008-11-16T10:06:00.000-08:00

I always tell people, my mom is my idol. I live for her, I live to be like her. So ever positive in life, she never once tells me not to do something which I wanted to. Always so supportive in everything that I wanted to do. It makes me wonder at times, can I grow up to be like her? I every much wanted to be like her.

Although life is hard for her, she remains positive and carries the vibrant character everyday. It makes my heart melt, when I first know that she gave up everything just to have me by her side 18yrs ago. Everything: the 2 sports car, the semi-d we once stayed at, the company she build up single-handy 20yrs ago, the luxury life she once had. I didn’t know how to react, I smiled, but I didn’t thank her. Because deep inside, I am crying, so touched that I didn’t know what to say.

My grandmother told me, I’m pretty much like her. Hard on the surface but soft inside. I guess it’s true. My mother and I share a very funny relationship. Its isn’t mother and daughter. We are more like best buddies. We needn't tell each other how much we love each other, but we always show it. Because we always say, actions speak louder then words. Maybe it’s because I grow up this way, and now, I do not know how to say I Love You formally to my boyfriend too. Haha! Through these years, we stood by each other, supporting each other in what we want to do. Although mine was all kiddish stuffs, but I’m glad she didn’t stop me from doing what I wanted to do all along. A little summary - I remembered attending speech & drama class when I’m 5 years old, ballet when I’m 6, 2 classes of piano lessons, abacus class, swimming, running, soccer. Of all these classes, I only got certificate for swimming and abacus. The rest? I said I quit after less then a year. But she didn’t say a single thing about me wanting to quit. Then when I was 14 years, I saw my mom attending cha cha classes and I wanted to dance too. So I enrolled myself to a hip-hop dance class. I danced for 3 years, till I’m about about 16. She never even said a single thing when I told her, I’m not dancing anymore. All she said was, as long as you are happy with the decision. Then when I was 16years old, I started attending concerts and go after bands, she didn’t said a thing too. She even got herself into a few members in the band. Then it all stopped after a year. Thinking back, I guess if I were to concentrate on a thing, maybe I could be very good in it now. I told my mom that i should concentrate on my dance class and not give up last time, because I do still miss those classes with my then girlfriends. All she said was, "at least you had all the experience that other people doesn’t have." My mom - So ever positive.

About 4 years ago, I made the most important decision in my life. I decided to make the decision for my mom. I stopped contacting him. It was a painful decision for me. It’s just like a love/hate feeling. I love him but I hate him too. But I had to do it, because I don’t want lawyer letters to fly in and out for the rest of my life. I don’t want to see my mom cry in the middle of the night. It was really really painful at the start, I cried silently at night while lying on my bed. I hide my phone under the pillow, and I remembered throwing my phone in the freezer for 2 hours because he kept calling. It was a torture; I felt a pain in my heart every time I see messages from him or even them. The decision made has no turning back. I had no chance of turning back now. Even if I turn back, I do not know how to face him now. I had to stand by my decision and I have to do something if I want to see my mom happier. Indeed, it did make her happier. We no longer mention him, I don’t see mom crying silently in the middle of the night every time a lawyer letter is send out. She is so much happier and it’s all worth it.

I don’t know if I’m too young to say this, but during that time, when the decision was made. I already told myself. Everyday in my life is to see my mom smile. I want to make sure that she is happy and I want to give her a good life. At that time, I don’t know how I am going to do it, but I stood firm. It’s funny. Thinking back now, I suspect if it’s because I had too much television drama. Haha!

Right now, I still can’t give her a good life. Because I have another year to go before I officially graduate. I can’t make her proud in my studies too. Never once I made her proud in my studies. Haha.

I am going to make her really proud of me one day. And I need to make sure also, I can support the very high end organic lifestyle that she is having now. Haha.

And to him. I'm sorry. I love you and i do hate you too.

2008-11-11T22:13:00.000-08:00

Ever since my last paper, i've been doing a lot of reflections. I've been taking everything slow pace this time round. I said slow pace, because, usually after my last paper, i would start work immediately the next day or the following Monday. But this time round i'm taking the other way round, i've decided to talk a break and sort out my thoughts and did a lot of reflections. It might sound unusual for me, but i'm glad my mom didnt push me to look for a job. I think she knows that i am really tired. I am really tired, mentally exhausted. Part of it was because of the heavy school load and the other was, tired of my life in 2008.

2008 has been a rather bad year for me. In dec last year i failed a paper, and so i studied damn hard for the next semester so that i could take an extra module during my last semester and to graduate officially this december. But all was not as expected, i failed another module during my second semester. When i found out that i failed, i shed tears. But it was not tears of disappointment this time round, it was tears of anger. Because for the exams, i swear i study more then anyone else, i study hard and i study day and night. And its the semester whereby i study really hard, never before in my entire life. But i still failed. What made me scream is, for the two modules i had to repeat. I scored an average Di in the projects. Which is really nothing, from my POV now. Project results are nothing. So all in all, these 2 modules which i've to repeat, caused me to have to waste one full year in 2009 to do another 2 modules which i'm left with before i can graduate. One module each semester. Because of its pre-requisite. Then the worst had to come in August, when i found out that there are people in my lecture who is on the same boat as me, managed to talk to the course adminstrators and took on 5 modules. This is totally WHAT THE FUCK! Because they were on student pass. I really hate the fact when they said its the systems they have to follow but allow the overseas students to break the systems. I am saying about those overseas students being unfair, they are really wonderful person! But what bloody systems is this?

I almost wanted to quit school. Because i really cannnot accept that fact that life is really isnt fair! I hate the fact. I hate it when i study harder then some people but they passed and i failed. I hate it when people told me, huh, i only get credit for the module. I hate it when people are discussing about the other projects that i am not taking that semester. I hate it when they are all talking about full time jobs when i am still stuck in the bloody school. I hate it when they asked me questions regarding the modules which i am not taking. I hate it when i see them stress over the module. I know this is not the usual Mary you know, because i never said it to anyone. I finally decided to take it to my stride in order not to disappoint my mom. I put on my usual vibrant smile and start school with everyone again. But i find it hard to really concentrate on my studies and put in the effort to do as much as the previous two semester.

Right now, i wonder how would i react if i were to fail again this semester. I dont know. Maybe i am just not cut out to study, or rather, i just cant do well for exams. But for whatever it takes, i'm still striving on, because i'm living this for my mom.

But the stone in my heart is too heavy to be lifted right now.

LUXURY

2008-11-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

Hi People,

Do you agree that brands like Louis Vuitton, Gucci, MuiMui, Kate Spade is like going on one for one spree? I cannot stand the sight of youngsters carrying their parents branded bags or forcing themselves to save up and spend everything on the bag, leaving them with only a small amount to live on for the next few months. Is this call LUXURY!? I always save up for my Headporter bags but i take months to save, because I don’t want to be really poor after my purchase. I know I will never be happy this way.

The increasing number of people on the street carrying these brands had been increasing these few months, and I kept asking my friends, ‘is these brands on spree?’
This increase has made the whole LUXURY Brand became a, ‘Oh, it is a Louis Vuitton/Gucci Bag.’ compare to the past, when its, ‘Wah, it is a Louis Vuiton/Gucci Bag.’ Haha. Of cos I would like to own one of these brands too, but not when I know I can’t afford it. Who doesn’t love these brands? And I love MuiMui and Kate Spade too but guess, I’m practical; I’ve got no money, I can’t afford it and lastly, I don’t want to use my mom's money to pay for it!

Then again, I am perfectly fine with people buying it with your hard earn money from your holiday job or few of your friends paying it for you as a gift. But only if it really does suits you? And nobody would pass of the comment, imitation? I think it is damn depressing if you are carrying a LV wallet and people are saying, 'I think it’s an imitation.' So please make sure that you have the character and personality to carry it off before buying. Because this isn’t any bag you saw at your neighbourhood stores, it is a LUXURY BRAND with a premium price tagged. If you cant carry it off, you are seriously 1) spoiling the brand name of your favourite brand 2) wasting your own money and 3) paying to make it look bad on you.

I remembered what my friend's said during one of our coffee session, 'I don’t club because i have no money, I couldn’t afford it. Why club when you can only afford the entrance fee and have only 3 drinks (2 fm coupon & you paid only for 1 drink) and when the party ends, you gonna take the night rider home. Is this really called, true enjoyment?' I think it’s so true.

Lastly, I am not JEALOUS because you own a Gucci bag and I don’t. I don't need these brands for now; I rather carry it impressively and carry it off as a LUXURY when i could afford it in time to come. I am writing on this because it’s just so true on the situation now! Follow the trend wisely; don’t carry it because many people are carrying it. Don’t pay a high price just to be like everyone else walking on the street.

AND BEFORE I END, I AM NOT POINTING MY FINGERS AT ANYONE OF YOU OR REFERING TO ANYONE OF YOU. IF YOU ARE THINKING SO, PLEASE FIND SOMETHING MORE MEANINGFUL TO WONDER ABOUT.

Till then. Ciao.

the need for people's perceptive of ITE to change

2008-10-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

I could stand people looking down on people from ITEs and those uneducated. the whole incident started when my aunty keeps rumbling about my cousin wanting to drop bio and wanted to also switched from a pure science class to a combine science class. i talked to my cousin and am supportive of her because at the age of 15, she already know where she wanted to go to. She wanted to go into poly for banking and finance course and she knows the criteria of entering into the course that she wanted to. So be it, i applauded her because when i was at the age of 15, i do not know what i wanted to do. All i know was poly, maybe design.

I dont understand how my aunty could be so unsupportive and said right infront of her daughter, 'Useless, from a pure science class dropping to a combine science class. From 8 subjects became 6 subjects.' Like totally WTF! Shouldnt parents be supportive of what their kids want in life? I felt so much like slamming the table! My other aunty was pissed off too, she gave a comment, if she cant excel in 6 subjects then what's 8 subjects, will she be able to excel? Its bloody hell true lah. And she keeps mumbling on and on that my cousin just couldnt excel in her studies unlike others. And i finally couldnt control and shot my mouth, i said, couldnt excel go into ITE then. And that's when all the EEeeeeeeeeeeeeees Yucks ITEs came from her. LIKE WTF! It got me even more pissed and i continue bluntly, when a degree student graduates she would work for a boss who’s only an ITE student. And she continues to Eeeeeeeeeee further. LIKE TOTALLY WTF!

Why are people so unrealistic? Thinking that a DEGREE would be good. And a degree student is a perfect A1 student. RUBBISH! Many people took up degree because they wanted to earn a few more bucks from a diploma student. Yes good. And some just isn’t prepared to enter the working society after poly, and one example is me! That’s part of the reason why I carry on with a degree studies right after poly. AND NOT ALL DEGREE STUDENTS ARE A1 PERFECT RESULTS STUDENTS. In this current society, haven they realised that a DEGREE CERT is like nothing now? A degree cert is like the most common thing in education. In my perceptive, ITEs are those who couldnt excel in their students, YES! TRUE! But when it came to street-smart and thinking beyond the box, they did it better then those from Poly and especially JCs students. I never once look down on ITEs people, some of them might be ah bengs or minnas, but it’s because they still do not know what they want in life and there is no opportunities for them because 3/4 of the society is like my aunty, looking down on people from ITEs. And out of the 1/4 who doesnt look down on ITEs, half of them secretly look down on ITEs too, they are in this 1/4 group of the people because they want to show people that they are different from the majority. That's why. STILL WTF and I am still pissed.

Another funny thing about the people belonging to the 3/4 sector. Whenever there is an article featuring on drug addicts and ITEs students going on to be one of the directors and founder of a big company. There reaction would be, you see people work hard to climb from ITEs and become a big boss now. Didnt they realised that with opportunities everything is possible for ITE students? And haven they realised that, they themselves s are those drawing away those opportunities from them? And they have gave too much opportunities for those universities graduated students that they are too spoiled for choice?

I swear to god that, in the future when i am a parent myself. I would give the best support in whatever she deem is right for her and whatever she wants to do. Of cos it couldnt be those trafficking in drugs or other rubbish. And if i ever be my own boss, my firm would be one who supports those who graduated from the ITEs. Giving them the very best opportunities.

I told my mom to talk to my aunty and her only comment was, ‘no point wasting your time to talk to these people, they are stagnant there forever.’ Yucks! Right at this moment, i am still very disgusted from my aunty comment on ITE student.